TITLE: Ooops... I did it again!
AUTHOR: Sam Carton
EMAIL: Stardoor@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Humor, Challenge (#30)
PAIRING: none
SPOILERS: legacy (kind of)
SEASON / SEQUEL: 4
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: none
SUMMARY: This is a response to a challenge but for the life of me I can't think which number, asking whether someone could write a story based on a picture they had seen of Daniel in the padded cell in Legacy.
I think they were aiming for more serious attempts than this -- but once I started typing the story kind of decided to write itself!
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis and here !
DISCLAIMER: No, the characters aren't mine. I have never owned SG1 in any way shape or form and am certainly not likely to in the future! This piece of fiction was written strictly for fun and no profit was made from it. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Daniel was curled up against the wall of the white padded room, looking for all the world like some kind of caged animal, exhausted from its many attempts to escape. His long attempts at screaming at the top of his lungs to be let out had been in vain. As had the exercise of banging his fists against the walls, then resorting to kicking it when his hands were too sore to continue. Sadly, after his vain attempts at kicking the door, his feet were now more painful than they would have been if he had spent an entire day marching across a very hot, rugged planet. He was wearing nothing but a pair of white pyjamas, something that made him glad the room was well heated.

I'm not nuts... Daniel thought to himself. Well, not as mad as they make me out to be, anyway.

He sat for a while and then decided to go for a little walk. It had to be a little walk... the room was hardly large enough to swing a cat... a very small cat at that.

Jack will sort this out... won't he? Daniel thought, sitting down, legs crossed, staring intently at the door. He rested his elbows on his knees, then placed his chin on his hands.

Damn I need a shave... he thought. I'd like one so much... except that they won't allow me to have any sharp objects in here. Or any objects at all for that matter. All this hassle for a simple misunderstanding. It could happen to anyone. Couldn't it?

After a while, the door opened and Colonel O'Neill was shown in, much to Daniel's relief.

"Jack I'm so glad to see you!"

"We'll be right here in case he gets violent." One of the orderlies who had escorted Jack into the room said.

O'Neill looked down at his colleague and shrugged. "I should be fine."

Daniel gave a small smile.

"Hi, Danny, still bonkers?" O'Neill said, looking down at his colleague.

Daniel looked up and eyed him with an acidic glare.

"Okay... care to tell me what happened here? They're citing evidence that you've gone... how can I put this?" O'Neil paused and then said eloquently, "Wacko."

"Well, it's like this..." Daniel said, a picture of wide-eyed innocence. "I was on a bus..."

"Why the hell were you on a bus?"

"My car broke down and I was late for a social meeting..."

"Hot date?"

"No... it was a... social gathering of respected archaeologists."

"Uh...huh..." Jack frowned. All this was beginning to sound more than a little odd. "So, what happened then?"

"I left some files on the bus."

"Some files " Jack began, then a horrific thought crossed his mind. "DOCTOR DANIEL JACKSON, YOU DIDN'T "

Daniel looked at him with wide blue eyes.

"Of all the lame brained, stupid, half witted...."

"I was going to do some research at home. I was sick of the base's coffee... I hadn't been home in two days and I needed a change of environment..."

"Let's get back to the story. How much do the public know?"

"Well, there was this psychologist... and he was on the same bus as me... he was the one who picked up my papers..."

"This is getting better and better..."

"He saw my notes about alien species and interstellar travel and when he gave me back my notes, he... followed... me..." Daniel said. "He started asking some prying questions so I told him it was classified."

"You didn't! Why didn't you just say you were writing a work of fiction."

"Well, maybe I'm not as good at lying as you are, Jack." Daniel said, then realised the meaning of his words. "Not that..."

"On with the story..."

"Well, it turns out he recognises me from all the research I did about Egyptology and outer space."

Jack tried to suppress a snigger. When Daniel put it like that, it was hard not to doubt his colleague's sanity. Of course, having seen the evidence for himself, O'Neill had no business to laugh. Even if it was funny.

"So we're walking along, and we get talking. I tried to be as brief as I could and said I had a meeting to get to... but this guy says I need a little help. I told him I didn't and asked him to let me get to my appointment, but he has this look in his eyes. He said he knew some people who could help me... Well we've had evidence of Goa'uld presence on Earth before... take Hathor and Seth..."

"Like they'd travel on a bus?!" Jack said. "For crying out loud, Daniel I never had you down as being that stupid!!"

"Hey!" Daniel yelped.

"Go on. Next instalment. I can hardly wait."

"I said I had five minutes and the next thing I know, I'm being assessed, asked all kinds of questions and then they undressed me, shoved me in here and locked the damn door!!"

O'Neill started laughing at that point.

"Just what is so damn funny?!" Daniel demanded.

"Of all the times you've got yourself into trouble... you don't even need to go through the gate to get yourself into trouble... you just jump on the bus and... it finds you!"

"Well, I'm glad you find this so funny. How about you get me out of here? Have a word with Dr Frasier, the General, anyone!"

"It's OK, Daniel. I'll have a word. The minute I can keep a straight face." O'Neill burst into peals of laughter once more.

Daniel sighed.

"Look on the bright side, Danny. At the very worst, you're now an officially registered nutcase... but at least our secrets are safe. After all, who would believe you now?"

Daniel groaned and let himself flop face first onto the floor. Jack had a valid point and that was the most irritating part of it. But despite that, it was going to take a long while until Daniel could see the funny side of this one.

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