"This place looked so peaceful on the MALP readings…" Daniel said looking around at the chaos that was unfolding wherever he looked.
"Leave me… you will have enough trouble saving yourselves…"
Daniel Jackson felt totally bewildered, as he took in the cheering crowd, the blazing sun and the sandy floor beneath him. He knelt beside the fallen man and recoiled as he saw the full extent of his wounds. His abdomen had been deeply cut, as well as his shoulder, head and leg.
"We can help you -" Daniel looked up at O'Neill. "Jack - we can get him back home, can't we?"
"Daniel, RUN!!"
Daniel froze for a moment when he saw the horror appear on his team leader's face. It was not a sight he was accustomed to seeing. Usually Jack was pretty blasé to say the least when dealing with unfamiliar situations. This was something entirely new.
"Jack?"
"DANIEL!" O'Neill lunged for his team member, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and hauled him ungracefully out of the way of some kind of wheeled vehicle. It thundered past, only millimetres from where Daniel now lay. It dealt the wounded man Daniel had been crouched by a mercifully swift end. Daniel watched in horror for a split second, before leaping to his feet and looking around.
"Oh… my… god…"
"Yeah… kind of what I said when I first laid eyes on the place - of course, you trip over, go flying down the steps and land flat on your face, so naturally this is going to come as a shock to you… but just LOOK where we've ended up!" O'Neill said, his voice showing signs of aggravation and extreme displeasure. "So, Daniel, just WHO did they think reminded them of Spartacus?!"
Daniel looked at O'Neill with wide eyes and then around at the arena he was standing in. He looked back to see the Stargate standing in the centre of the arena and noted that the DHD was located at the far end, by a set of huge double doors.
"You would have thought they could identify an amphitheatre when they saw it!" O'Neill continued to lament.
"Yeah… right… wow… this is fascinating. I mean, we get to experience the kind of spectacle that many people could only dream of and…"
"Daniel." O'Neill said, crouching down.
"Yes, Jack?"
"Duck!"
"Huh?"
O'Neill grabbed Daniel once again and sent him crashing to the floor. The reason became apparent as a hail of arrows went sailing their way.
"This place is getting dangerous!" O'Neil snapped to no-one in particular. "Right… that does it! I have had enough of being target practice!!"
Infuriated, O'Neill looked for an opportunity within which he could retaliate against the odd attacker or two that happened to take notice of the strange newcomers who had been unfortunate enough to come through the massive stone archway. He saw Daniel scamper away to his right for some reason, but did not have time to think about what he was doing too much as a heavily armoured warrior came pounding towards him, waving a pair of very sharp and very vicious looking swords. O'Neill unloaded several rounds from his gun, but noted to his dismay that the warrior's armour was all but bulletproof. O'Neill fired again, and swore as the bullets had no effect, except to make the warrior pause in bewilderment. Moments later, he let out an angry war cry and bolted towards O'Neill twice as fast. With no time to grab his zat gun, O'Neill had to resign himself to running until he could fish it out. He turned to make a break for it, but as he did so, he felt his foot slip in the gravel, sending him crashing to the ground. He was aware of the warrior gaining on him by the second and knew what would happen if he was caught. He threw himself to his feet and went to make a bolt for it once again, when he heard a loud clanging sound. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Daniel, sword and shield in hand, engaging the warrior in combat at close quarters. Daniel was capitalising on the element of surprise, not giving an inch as he matched the warrior blow for blow, using his smaller size to out manoeuvre his opponent. O'Neill went for his zat gun once more, grabbed it from his pocket and aimed it. Just as he was about to fire, Daniel toppled his opponent and set about finishing him off in a particularly bloody fashion.
O'Neill saw Daniel's eyes light up as he heard a cheer swell throughout the audience, and within moments, the young archaeologist was engaging another combatant in a vicious struggle. O'Neill watched half in horror and half in surprise. He would never have had Daniel down for possessing those particular personality traits.
O'Neill surveyed the area around him and tried to make out just what was going on. He looked around frantically for Carter and Teal'c. He could not see them immediately, due to the amounts of dust being thrown up by the skirmishes taking place in the arena. O'Neill's vision happened to chance upon the royal box, where a regal looking man gazed down at the combatants with idle amusement and contempt.
"Jackass." O'Neill said under his breath. He noted that a small group of combatants had seen him as a likely victim and were making their way towards him. O'Neill trained his zatnikatel upon them, then fired off a couple of shots, sending two of them crashing to the ground and the rest looking on at him in horror.
Having finished them off, O'Neill looked around for Carter and Teal'c. There was still no sign of them. Frustrated, O'Neill resigned himself to going on a personal hunt. He let his gaze flick over to Daniel, who was fighting with the kind of speed and agility O'Neill would not have associated him with in that kind of situation. It worried him. He could not help but wonder how long Daniel would hold out for.
O'Neill crept towards the far end of the arena and could at last see Carter and Teal'c. They were holding their own, with Teal'c giving as good as he got against a group of men clad in various types of armour. He saw Carter being approached by one wearing next to no armour, save for a net. She turned and kicked him so hard between the legs that it made O'Neill's eyes want to water. He approached his comrades and saw that Teal'c had noticed his presence. He also noticed that Teal'c had lowered his blast lance right at O'Neill.
"TEAL'C!! IT'S ME!! DON'T FIRE!!" O'Neill screamed at the top of his voice. It did not stop Teal'c releasing a bolt of energy that came hurtling towards O'Neill…
O'Neill could feel the heat as the energy bolt passed his head, singing his hair a little. When he heard a loud scream from behind him, he understood. He threw himself to the ground, rolled and checked the area surrounding the victim of the energy bolt. Seeing that he had two other companions, O'Neill delivered a couple of blasts from his zat gun, before joining his team members.
Strength in numbers, he thought as he reached them. He spared Daniel a look and noticed that his colleague seemed to be tiring - and that he also seemed to be winning.

When SG1 stood together in the centre of the arena after many of their foes had been slaughtered, they wondered how they had done it. O'Neill felt sick to the stomach to see the carnage, and Carter looked a little green in the gills, too. Daniel was standing still clutching his shield and sword, his head held high as though he had found his true calling in life. Teal'c looked around with his usual indifferent expression.
O'Neill regarded the gate longingly. Heavily armoured soldiers who they did not stand a chance against should one of them try to make a break for the gate surrounded them. While zatnikatels were marvellous weapons, there was a limit to the number of people you could stun in a set period of time, no matter how quick you were.
Roman dress… Thought O'Neill. Looks nice…
Seconds later, another thought crossed his mind. What's happening now?
O'Neill recognised the man walking out of the gate under heavy guard and suppressed the urge to run up to him and give him a swift kicking. It was the guy in charge who had been sitting in the royal box. O'Neill looked over to Daniel, who still seemed in a world of his own.
"Daniel… what's going on now?" O'Neill asked his colleague.
Daniel kept staring ahead, his eyes glazed and a fascinated expression on his face.
"Daniel?!" O'Neill hissed. "Daniel Jackson! Tell me what's happening and that's an order."
"It would appear that we are being paid a visit by the ruler of this vicinity." Teal'c stated.
"Thank you, Teal'c." O'Neill said, shooting Daniel a filthy look - not that he noticed.
The rule in question summoned Daniel towards him and spoke to him briefly, then headed back they way he had come. Daniel had a large smile on his face. O'Neill wondered whether he would actually be lucky enough to get through to Daniel for long enough to hear an explanation of the event.
As Daniel rejoined the group, O'Neill guessed not. Daniel was high on adrenaline and truly at one with his surroundings. While O'Neill had seen Daniel immerse himself in ancient civilisations before, it had never come to this. Carter looked at O'Neill with a concerned expression.
"So, what now, sir?"
O'Neill shook his head slowly. "We just wait and see… what happens."

Eventually they were led from the arena to some kind of yard and decked out in the scratchiest, most uncomfortable little blue tunics O'Neil had ever encountered. Teal'c looked right at home in his, and Daniel just looked amused. O'Neill, however, wanted his uniform back - and fast!
Teal'c, O'Neill and Carter sat on a rough wooden bench in what little shade there was and contemplated what was going on as well as discussing their options relating to getting home. They had decided that they would have to get back into the arena somehow, buy themselves enough time to dial home and get the hell out of the place.
Somehow.
Daniel was in the distance, chatting to a bearded man with neat black hair, dressed in a rough blue tunic much like his own, with a thick leather belt around his waist. From a distance, O'Neill could see that Daniel's companion had been to hell and back. He had the kind of demeanour that befitted someone with little to lose in life.
"Daniel's fitting in well." O'Neill said, as though he was describing his colleague's first day at school.
"It would appear so. However, I did not expect such a thing to happen." Teal'c said.
"You and me both." Carter said. "It almost seems like we never really knew Daniel at all. Wait a minute…"
Daniel and his companion looked at the three members of SG1 and walked over, still chatting. "Hi, Jack." Daniel said.
"Hi." O'Neill said. "What was with you back in the… thing with the crowds?"
"Oh, that would appear to be some kind of amphitheatre. It would also appear that we have ended up in some version of the Roman era… in fact, this area would suggest itself to be a very close replica of the place itself."
Daniel's companion looked at him with intense blue eyes. "That would be because it is Rome."
"Oh." Daniel paused for a moment, then looked at his companion and then back at the SG1 members. "Uh… team, I'd like you to meet Max. Max, this is Colonel Jack O'Neill, Teal'c and Samantha Carter."
Max inclined his head. "It is a pleasure to meet you."
"Likewise Max…" O'Neill said. He regarded the man in front of him and confirmed his suspicions. He truly did look like someone who had faced the rough end of life too many times to mention. "So… let us in on a little secret. Where exactly are we?"
Max looked at him with an expression that said, don't you know? "We are in one of the largest Gladiator schools in the area."
O'Neill gulped. "So... uh… does this mean that next time I fill out my tax form I put down 'gladiator' under occupation?"
Max looked at him with a puzzled expression for a moment, and then noticed that Max's attention had turned to Carter. O'Neill felt slightly jealous for an instant.
"And what brings you here, my lady?"
"The Stargate. The large stone hoop in the centre of the arena."
Max paused in thought for a moment. "It was discovered several years ago on an expedition. The emperor approved of it and so it is often placed in the arena as an… added attraction for the crowds. Your arrival and the strange sights that accompanied you were most unexpected."
"I can imagine." Carter said. "So, what brings you here?"
A look of pain crossed Max's face. "It is not a pleasant tale."
Carter took that to mean that he would rather not talk about it. "You held your own pretty well out there."
Max gave a slight smile and took a seat next to Carter. "You could say that I have had much in the way of experience in battle."
O'Neill sat on the bench, shoulders slumped as the scantily clad gladiator chatted up his colleague and as Daniel bent his ear about ancient civilisations and how SG1 were lucky enough to be experiencing them first hand.
"Experiencing them first hand?!" O'Neill snapped. "If I want to see epic battles I'll watch a war movie, thanks!"
"Indeed, this way of life is not so different from that of many civilisations I experienced while I was first prime of Apophis." At the mention of that name, O'Neill noticed Max shoot him a condescending look that said, please! At that moment, O'Neill heard Daniel comment about Roman civilisation, but paid little attention. Teal'c was contemplating the action taking place all around the compound as gladiators of various stature and build, and probably from all walks of life, practiced thrusting killer blows with an array of vicious looking implements. Teal'c was glad that he still had his blast lance, and wondered what kind of opponent he would be required to fight should it come to that. In his mind, it was likely that it would.
O'Neill glanced to his far right.
Max was still chatting to Carter. And Daniel was still waffling away about something that made sense in his own little world. Frankly, O'Neill couldn't care less and just wanted to go back home. Just because he was in the military, it didn't mean that he relished the thought of being flung into an arena against some foe holding a nasty looking weapon.
All in all, O'Neill was having a pretty bad day.
And the presence of Max was only making it worse.

O'Neill's day was set to deteriorate into disaster beyond his comprehension. SG1 were required to take part in training for future battles, with particular interest being shown in Carter, from many angles. Carter was getting pretty annoyed with the looks she was getting and felt like she was trapped in an enclosure with men who reminded her of wolf whistling builders - only these guys didn't whistle. They attempted to undress her with their eyes. Carter had her hand on her zat gun, at close reach. Max's presence at close quarters seemed to be helping for some reason. She didn't like to think of the reasons why, but got the idea that it would not be wise to get on the wrong side of him.
O'Neill was giving Max the cold shoulder treatment, while Daniel had engaged another poor soul in a chat about Roman civilisation. O'Neill was feeling the heat, feeling his age and feeling like he wanted to crack open more beers than was good for him and drown his sorrows. It was at that time when a particularly tall, blond haired fellow with a distinctive German accent cornered him and invited him to spar. It was more of an order than an invitation. This guy did not look like he would take no for an answer.
O'Neill sighed and resigned himself to his fate. As he walked to certain doom, he could see Max getting too cosy with Carter for O'Neill's liking. Daniel was getting right into sparring, while Teal'c was conversing with a couple of guys who looked like they would be bad news in a fight. Teal'c took them both on at once and emerged victorious. It may have been a practice run, but it was a show of strength that gained him some respect.
"Go on. Cream me." O'Neill invited.
"Cream you?" the tall blond gladiator laughed out loud, then swung a wooden sword. It was the same style as the one that O'Neill was holding. O'Neill darted out of the way, then stood in a defensive pose. Teal'c was looking on, stony faced as usual, but there was something in his demeanour that told O'Neill he was enjoying the whole spectacle much more than he had hoped.
"Well?" O'Neill shrugged. "Give it your best shot."
Moments later, O'Neill was lying on the floor, clutching his stomach. "I just had to say it…"
Teal'c had the tiniest look of amusement on his face as he regarded O'Neill, while Daniel was tittering to himself.
And Max was still talking to Carter.
"For crying out loud… how can things get any worse?" O'Neill said to himself as he got to his feet for another thrashing.

It was when what passed for dinner was served that things got worse. It was inedible.
"General!" someone called. O'Neill instinctively thought of Hammond, then watched as Max got up to collect his indescribable bowl of edible mess. O'Neill had yet another reason to hate Max. Not only was he cracking on to Carter in a big way, but there was the whole rank thing, too. O'Neill frowned and tried to force his rations down his throat. He wanted to choke as he tasted it, but he had to make sure he got some sustenance. Teal'c was eating his like it was something he did every day of his life, making O'Neill wonder about the standards of Goa'uld staff catering. Daniel was munching away in a manner that indicated he didn't care what he ate as long as he was fed, and Carter was clearly not enjoying the slop they had been served.
"Well, this is one for the food guide…" O'Neill mused as he looked up at the sky. It was beginning to get dark.
O'Neill, Teal'c and Daniel were led to some uninviting looking cells, complete with straw mattresses, while Carter followed Max down a corridor. If looks could have killed, Max would have dropped stone dead as O'Neill glared after him. Daniel noticed and tried to offer some words of comfort but was rebuked. Teal'c raised an eyebrow while O'Neill simply shrugged.
"You can't deny that they make a lovely couple." An accented voice spoke from behind O'Neill. O'Neill looked behind him and wanted to beat the living daylights out of who had spoken. That was when he noticed that it happened to be the tall, blond gladiator. O'Neill decided not to push his luck, but stomped to a bunk, threw himself down on it and tried to think happy thoughts.
Daniel launched off into another tirade about ancient Rome, and then sneezed. Moments later, he sneezed again, and found it hard to stop. O'Neill allowed himself a secret smile. At least his ears would get a rest. He turned onto his back and was about to discuss a way to get back home once again when sleep overtook him.
O'Neill shut his eyes and slept.

******

The next morning bought more slop, an irritating tall blond German and the sight of Max and Sam looking cosy, a sight that bought many thoughts to O'Neill's mind. Sadly many of those thoughts involved the kind of crimes that could send a person to the gas chamber back home. Only… O'Neill wasn't "back home". While the rest of the team started what passed for their meal, O'Neill sulked. He knew it looked like he was sulking and was not ashamed of that fact, as he knew he was sulking - and he had a damn good reason for it. The tall, blond gladiator walked past and paused.
"Do not worry, my friend."
O'Neill looked up and glared at him. "Oh, really?" he said sarcastically. "And just why do you think I shouldn't worry?"
"Today we face opponents hand picked by the emperor. Once we are in the arena, then you will have reason to worry."
O'Neill groaned, feeling totally depressed. "I can hardly wait." He said.
"Colonel, what is up with you? You've had a face like thunder all day - in fact, ever since we got here. Now what is wrong with you?!" Carter demanded. She had a good idea what the problem was but did not want to say anything until her suspicions were confirmed.
"Nothing, OK?" O'Neill snapped.
"Are you sure?" Max asked.
"Great. As well as moving in on my territory, you don't think I can make up my own mind!" O'Neill snapped at Max. "OK, if you want to know, you make me sick. You just have to be such a brave, strong hero, you have to be so deep and meaningful… you have to be such a… such a… such a… jackass!!"
"My territory…?" Carter repeated, wishing she hadn't heard that comment.
Max glared at O'Neill. "You will regret that insult."
Sam was watching, a look of rage on her face. Max looked highly irritated and glared intensely at O'Neill.
"Ya think? I'm just calling it how I see it!" O'Neill said.
"How you see what…?" Max said, and then thought for a moment. A smile played at his lips as he stood looking at the floor, then at O'Neill, switching his gaze to Carter and back to O'Neill again. His blue eyes sparkled as he started to laugh quietly, shaking his head. "Am I to take it that you think myself and Samantha Carter are -"
He did not have a chance to finish his sentence as O'Neill went running at him, took him off his feet and within moments, the pair of them were brawling on the ground. O'Neill had the advantage of surprise, but it was clear that Max's gladiatorial experience meant that he outmatched O'Neill in hand to hand combat. As a result, O'Neill took a hammering from his opponent, but Max did not go unscathed.
"Stop it!" Sam yelled, as she watched the pair of them slug it out. "Stop it at once!!"
They paused, let go of each other and got to their feet. O'Neill's hair was a mess and his nose was bleeding, while Max was wiping blood from his lip. Max stood in a defensive pose, more than ready for anything the colonel could throw at him.
"Some people should know when to back off!" O'Neill growled, shooting Max a vicious look.
"Back off?! Why should I need to… 'back off'?" Max snapped. "If you are stupid enough to misunderstand my actions -"
"Stupid? Who the hell are you calling stupid?!" O'Neill retorted, as he went for Max once again. This time Max was more than ready. He grabbed O'Neill and sent him flying, then pounced upon him proceeded to belt the living daylights out of him. O'Neill had more than had enough by that time and decided to end this impromptu bout the only way he knew how, considering he was on his back being pounded black and blue. He grabbed Max by the shoulders, aimed with his right knee and bought it up to connect with Max's crown jewels.
Daniel, who was watching in the corner, winced when he saw that. Daniel was sure he learnt a few new curse words in Latin as Max doubled up swearing and yelling in pain. O'Neill got to his feet unsteadily and looked down at Max, who was curled up on the ground, clutching his personal regions.
"Told you not to move in on my territory."
Carter glared at O'Neill. He was a colleague and she was not his property. The whole scene reminded her of cavemen fighting it out between each other, particularly when O'Neill found it impossible to stand up straight and seemed to have the posture of a Neanderthal. His roughed up hair and the dirt all over him only added to the effect. If she hadn't been so angry, she would have laughed. As it was, she was furious.
"So, you take the coward's way out?" It was that blond gladiator again.
O'Neill looked up at him. "We both fought dirty. It's just that I was better than him."
"And that gives you the right to club me over the head and have your wicked way with me once you drag me back to your cave?" Sam said, confirming the theory.
"Yeah… That's it… kinda…" O'Neill turned to face her, his expression hazy. "I couldn't have him… taking advantage…"
"Taking advantage?" Carter repeated. "Since when did you think I couldn't take care of myself?"
"It's not like that, Carter… really -" O'Neill said.
"From where I'm standing, it's ever bit like that!" Fuelled by anger and adrenaline, Carter grabbed O'Neill by the shoulders and bought her knee up, and for the second time that day crown jewels were damaged. Before she was aware of her action, he was lying on the ground, next to Max, groaning in pain. "Damn. I could get court marshalled for that."
"I would not like to face you in battle." The tall, blond gladiator said.
"Thanks." Carter replied. "Hopefully, neither will he."

******

The next time O'Neill came across Max, the pair of them glared silently, still feeling the pain from their encounter. Max had walked with a definite limp for the past two days, while O'Neill had bowed out of sparring practice due to injury. Not a word was spoken. However, the mutual feeling of hate was there, loud and clear. Max, O'Neill, Teal'c and Daniel were all preparing for a gladiatorial contest based on some historical battle. O'Neill wasn't bothered which - they all seemed to be the same to him, and anyway, that was Daniel's territory.
Territory.
O'Neill winced. That word would never mean the same again. Carter was barely speaking to him, although she had calmed down considerably, Daniel had found heaps of new friends in the gladiator camp, while Teal'c was… Teal'c, O'Neill supposed.
As for O'Neill, he just wanted to be out of everyone's way. So much so that when he got the chance to go for a quick walk, he did so. He had ho idea where he was when he slipped out into one o the tunnels, but figured it looked interesting and followed its general direction. It was there that he got a treat for the eyes.
Maybe it was the dark skin and golden armour that did it, or maybe it was just the whole look that made Jack cheer up, he wasn't sure. Carter had made it clear that O'Neill was no longer flavour of the month, which made him wonder whether any members of this bunch of lovelies would take an interest.
Female gladiators, O'Neill thought, staring long and hard, wow! Maybe this place is turning me into a Neanderthal… but it sure is fun!
"Hey there." He said, leaning casually against the bars of the holding area they resided in, preparing for their forthcoming battle. "Name's O'Neill. I live just down the road."
One of them looked up and eyed him strangely.
"I was just passing… and just thought I'd say hello." O'Neill continued.
The female gladiator gave a polite smile, then turned her attention to the far wall, got up and started to examine a lethal looking crossbow. She picked it up and then looked over to O'Neill with dark, mysterious eyes.
O'Neill couldn't find any trace of an expression on her face, and wondered whether that was what was worrying him. Or maybe it was the weapon.
It's like looking at Teal'c's female double… O'Neill thought.
He found his gaze firmly fixed on the weapon and decided it was high time he went back to join his merry gang.
"I'll be… er… seeing you…" O'Neill said and picked up his pace as he departed. Oh well… he may not have wanted to spend the rest of the day with all the people he had offended lately, but it was better than being on the business end of a crossbow.

******

Standing in the middle of the arena with his comrades, O'Neill felt small and insignificant, not a feeling he was enjoying very much. He also hated the sight of the announcer, waffling on about "hallowed antiquity" or something like that. O'Neill did not know what to expect, and was feeling decidedly nervous, not that he let it show. Daniel was the picture of battle readiness, Teal'c was… standing there… and worryingly enough, Max looked like he was right at home. He had also given O'Neill a hell of a scare when he had turned around wearing the kind of helmet that would give any normal person nightmares. They were all decked out in helmets with shields and swords. O'Neill found himself wishing for his zatnikatel - a machine gun, anything… His appraisal of the situation was shattered when his ears picked up part of the speech the narrator was giving.
"The battle of Carthage?!" O'Neill gasped. "Waaait a minute!! Danny, why does this give be a bad feeling?!"
"I think I have a good idea…" Daniel said, a frown appearing on his face and worrying O'Neill considerably. "Carthage was a notable massacre in ancient history - the amount of bloodshed was -"
"Danny." O'Neill said.
"Yes, Jack?"
"It's been a pleasure knowing you." He sighed, looked down at his weaponry and resigned himself to a fate worse than death.
"Has anyone been in the army?" Max said, snapping O'Neill out of his daydreams once again.
"I'm a colonel in the United States air force…" O'Neill ventured. He was aware of several of his comrades staring at him like he was a prime case for what passed for a lunatic asylum around those parts. "Trust me - it's a kind of army… uh… I'll shut up now."
"I was first prime of Apophis." Teal'c stated. "That can be translated as first in command."
"I served with you at Vinda Bona,"
"Then you can help me." Max said.
The gates opened and out thundered several chariots, drawn by impressive looking horses. O'Neill looked at them and then to himself and his comrades. The charioteers were better armed than they were, they had the benefit of transport and they were better protected.
"For crying out loud!!" O'Neill began, but was cut off when Max started barking out orders. Who the hell does he think he is?! O'Neill thought as he went along with the whole thing. At least he seems to know what he's doing…
It was then that O'Neill realised that he recognised the archers on the chariots. They were the female gladiators O'Neill had tangled with earlier on that day, and it seemed like they intended for him to be in the line of fire.
"Oh, crap." O'Neill said under his breath.

The battle that followed was a nightmare. Max had proved that he knew exactly what he was doing, while O'Neill just did as he was told. It had felt like being Bra'tak's apprentice, but at the same time, what else could O'Neill do? Daniel had, once again, escaped unscathed. By the end of the battle, the arena looked like hell. The huge gates had practically been taken off their hinges when one of the chariots had ended up colliding with then at full force while carnage was strewn around the arena. Max had proven that he was a psychopath at heart, with the way he had hacked, slashed and decimated the enemy, while Teal'c had kept his cool demeanour throughout the battle. Haken, the blond gladiator who took great delight in winding O'Neill up, was nursing a leg wound. The party of gladiators stood in the centre of the arena, lapping up applause and feeling thankful that they were alive and looking forward to getting the hell out of the arena.
Of course, it couldn't be that simple. The emperor decided he would grace the small party with a personal visit as well as asking Max for his particulars. The team of gladiators found themselves under close guard as the emperor approached. O'Neill was sure he saw Teal'c's expression become even stonier than it was usually.
"Spaniard, you will remove your helmet and tell me your name." The emperor demanded as he stood before them.
"I am called Gladiator" Max said, a burning example of intensity. He turned and removed his helmet. O'Neill could tell that trouble was not far away.
"Slave, how dare you turn your back to me!"
O'Neill could not suppress a filthy look when he heard the emperor, Commodus, say that. Maybe it was a painful reminder of the way the Goa'uld enslaved the inhabitants of so many worlds they ventured to, or maybe it was the emperor's attitude… It all added up to one thing. O'Neill had firmly decided that he really, really did not like this jerk one little bit.
Max turned and faced the emperor, a dangerous look on his face. The emperor looked like he was about to lose control of his bodily functions. "I am Maximus Decimus Meridius," Max said.
Cool. Wouldn't mind signing my cheques with a name like that! O'Neill thought, a little smile playing at his lips. Aware of the serious expressions on the faces of his comrades in arms, he tried to maintain a serious expression. The problem was, he was enjoying seeing the emperor look so worried.
"Father to a murdered son," Max continued.
O'Neill was bought up short, a gasp forced from his throat, his mind wiped clean of any sarcastic thoughts he was contemplating. Brief memories of the death of his own son flashed through O'Neill's mind, and at that moment, he found himself empathising with Max.
"Husband to a murdered wife,"
Oh my god… O'Neill thought. No wonder this guy looks pissed off most of the time.
"And I will have my vengeance - in this life or the next."
And I'd like to damn well HELP! O'Neill thought. He tried to envision going back through the Stargate, and making sure that the emperor had a fatal accident with the kawoosh when SG1 returned home. It was a pleasant thought at that moment in time and one he wanted to make come true as soon as he could.

******

It was a couple of days until O'Neill felt he could talk to Max without fear of being on the sharp end of a Roman short sword.
"Max…" O'Neill began. "I was… sorry to hear about your… wife and kid. That's real… rough."
Max looked at him with pained blue eyes and gave a small nod.
"I lost my son a while back, too…" O'Neill began slowly. "It's… rough."
"How did your son meet his end?" Max asked.
"It was my own stupid fault… he got hold of my handgun…"
Max looked at O'Neill with questioning eyes.
"Let's just say he got hold of one of the weapons I use for my work back home and the result was… fatal…"
"I, too, feel responsible for the demise of my son…" Max said quietly. "And my wife…"
It was then that O'Neill finally broke the ice with Max, as opposed to them trying to break vital parts of each other. They spent a while talking until O'Neill decided the time was right to broach a subject that had been on his mind ever since he and his team had been drafted in as gladiators.
"I see you get on well with my colleagues… especially Carter…" O'Neill began.
"She is an intelligent and beautiful woman." Max replied. "But do not be troubled, O'Neill. She could never replace my wife."
"So you're not… interested in her." Jack said, his spirits lifting a little.
Max gave a wry smile and looked at O'Neill in a way that made the colonel feel particularly stupid. "I am not." Max paused to think for a moment. "O'Neill… what is this… United States Air Force you mentioned before the battle."
"It's… er…" O'Neill struggled to find the words to explain the importance of an airborne fleet to someone from a culture 2,000 years behind his own. This would not be easy.

O'Neill tried not to feel too envious when he heard the crowd call Max's name over and over again. Max came walking back into the large enclosure O'Neill and the rest of the gladiators occupied and sat down, looking slightly weary. He had just been involved in a duel involving a well-respected gladiator, four tigers and some dirty deeds. The crowd had loved it.

******

"Maximus! Maximus! Maximus!" the crowd chanted.
Commodus sighed. He was having a particularly bad day. If it hadn't been bad enough finding out that Maximus was still alive, it was even worse hearing the crowd chant his name over and over again. To add insult to injury, it seemed like no-one in Rome respected him. He was having trouble sleeping… the senate were driving him to distraction…
But at least he had enjoyed the spectacle of Maximus fighting the tigers, even though Commodus had hoped that Tigris the Gaul would emerge victorious. That had been such a disappointment.
There's one thing that would cheer me up, thought Commodus, and that's another battle involving tigers. Big, nasty, hungry tigers…
His mind made up, a smile lit his face as he summoned one of his servants.

******

Daniel, who was beginning to be recognised as quite a strong contender in the arena, felt a little envious of Max's experience in front of the crowds. He wondered what it must have felt like, not only having to deal with an opponent, but also some vicious beasts with killer instincts sharp claws and even sharper teeth. He figured that the adrenaline rush must be something else. Daniel could hear Max's name being chanted, something that he reckoned must be getting up the emperor's nose. Daniel smiled to himself. It was all rather amusing. He wondered what the next match would be. If he was honest, he had no idea what was going on that day as he had not been listening to what was planned. Instead he had been observing what went on in the gladiator camp, examining the various weapons they were required to use and the architecture around him.
"You, the one known as Daniel Jackson."
Daniel looked up to Proximo.
"Uh… yeah…."
"The emperor has decided that there will be an additional match."
"Uh huh…" Daniel said, still not grasping the relevance of the conversation.
"You will face an opponent of the emperor's choosing. He was very impressed with the spectacle provided by the tigers…"
Daniel was no longer distracted by the architecture. "The… tigers…" he said, his eyes glazing over.
"Yes, you are to participate in a match very much like the one Maximus fought in earlier on today."
"Tigers…" Daniel croaked, his throat suddenly dry. "Tigers…" he gasped. "TIGERS! OH SHIT!" he gasped.
"Oh, crap!!" O'Neill sighed, clasping his hands to his face and wincing. He noticed everyone looking at him and then sat there, an embarrassed smile on his face. However, he just knew what he could expect as an end result.
Be careful what you wish for, you may just get it… thought Daniel, and went to prepare for his match. He had not fought in singles competition before, and had no idea of how well he would fare - or not as the case could be. He did not look forward to the prospect in question and sincerely hoped he would escape with his life.
"Daniel, are you going to be OK out there?" O'Neill asked.
"Tigers…" Daniel said, his eyes glazed and a zombie like expression on his face. "Great big, hairy pussy cats with a taste for blood… I can hardly wait."
Where's Dr Frasier when you need her? Thought O'Neill.
Daniel knew that he had bought this upon himself in a way. It was his fault for fighting so well, for putting on such a great show. It was his fault for not ignoring the adrenaline rush he got whenever he was in the arena. It was just plain bad luck that the emperor had enjoyed Max's showdown with a Gaul of some description.

******

Daniel stood in the middle of the arena, trying to lap up the cheering of the crowd, but knowing his heart was not in it. He looked around for an exit but realised that there were none, and the heavily armed guards in the arena were not about to let him make good his escape.
"I am so screwed." Daniel said.
His opponent emerged, giving Daniel even more of a reason to worry. He looked like a champion body builder, with the appearance of someone who hated everybody. Daniel sighed.
And when he thought he was in enough trouble, they bought out the tigers. Four of them, roaring and ready for anything. Daniel tried to strengthen his resolve, but could not ignore a single thought that kept running through his head.
"Oh great, I'm lunch." He looked up at the emperor, who seemed to be enjoying the spectacle way too much, and wondered what the hell to do.
In the end, Daniel used his speed and agility to full advantage as his larger opponent lunged for him, tried to swipe him with his shield and took a swipe with his sword. Daniel danced out of the way, raised his shield and felt the impact of his opponent's sword on the large circular metal object. His opponent followed it up with another strike, which Daniel caught with his sword and threw off, although he was not sure how. The force threw Daniel back a couple of steps, which was when he heard an ominous roar from behind him.
Daniel stepped to one side; sure he could feel the tiger's breath down the back of his neck. He turned his attention to his opponent once more, who was following up with another strike. It sent Daniel reeling backwards, straight into the big cats. Daniel sprinted away, only to feel the full weight of one of the tigers jumping on his back and sending him crashing to the ground. Daniel tried to strike at it with his sword, but his intended blow was swatted away with its massive paw.
Damn these things weigh a ton! Daniel thought as he tried to wriggle free of the massive beast. He could feel the tiger rising to its feet from where it had lain, pinning Daniel's left shoulder with its paw. Daniel could feel its claws digging into his flesh. It swiped at his right shoulder, making Daniel glad he was wearing armour. However, the sensation of pain as the tiger's swipe caught his lower arm made him want to vomit. The beast shifted its weight, and as it did so, Daniel seized the chance to bolt free. He scampered out of the way, only to come within a hair's breadth of being decapitated by his opponent.
This is nuts! Daniel thought as he darted backwards. His opponent lunged, maybe a little too far, enabling Daniel to dart to one side, shoving his foe towards the tiger who had been so intent on making a meal out of Daniel. Daniel stepped back as the tiger went straight for his opponent's throat, spilling blood and turning Daniel's stomach. The crowd were practically on their feet, cheering.

"Thank God…" O'Neill said under his breath as he watched Daniel's opponent being made short work of by a particularly hungry looking tiger. Hs relief was short lived when something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention.
"DANIEL!!" O'Neill yelled in horror.

Daniel lapped up the shouts of admiration. He raised his sword and shield in victory, trying not to let the pain of his arm wound spoil his celebrations. He looked up at the emperor and saw something odd in his expression.
Anticipation.
Anticipation of what?
Seconds later, his question was answered as one of the other tigers blindsided him, knocked him off his feet and snapped at him with vicious jaws.

******

"Hi, Jack." Daniel said, looking up at O'Neill. He was pale, wide eyed and not entirely aware of his surroundings. The nearby medical facilities had been surprisingly good, even though they were not as advanced as O'Neill would have ideally liked. Ideally, they would all be back in the SGC with the closest thing to tigers in that respect being General Hammond in a particularly bad mood. As it was, they were in a small cell like room, the door wide open and sounds of activity outside. O'Neill did not care too much what was going on out there, as his attention was focused on Daniel. He had spent the last half hour out cold, and had just returned to consciousness.
"Hey, Danny." O'Neill said, crouching by the bed Daniel was lying on.
"The crowd loved it." Daniel said with a weak smile, taking shallow gasps for breath, "The emperor even let me live."
The last words were said with the kind of wide eyed enthusiasm that made O'Neill wonder whether his colleague was being serious, or making an attempt at sarcasm. "Big of him." O'Neill replied, looking at the state Daniel was in. The sight of blood did not usually make O'Neill shudder, but this was another matter entirely. Daniel was patched up pretty well, but still looked a wreck. He had serious arm and leg injuries, as well as a head wound that did not look at all good. He had also sustained some damage to his midsection, something that worried O'Neill. It was more than possible that Daniel had internal injuries. What made matters worse was the fact that Daniel was still covered in blood from his ordeal.
"I'm sorry, Jack… I really am." Daniel said, closing his eyes, then looking up at O'Neill after a minute.
"What for?"
"Doing my usual routine… you know… I get injured, you have to patch me up and get me back home…"
O'Neill was lost for words. While it was not unknown for Daniel to walk straight into trouble, O'Neill could not deny that he dearly wanted to go home, too. The problem there was the fact that the Stargate was nowhere to be seen, and SG1 couldn't walk ten metres without being aware of the presence of bars, armed guards or worse. O'Neill hoped that Daniel could hold on long enough for the rest of his team to locate the gate and get back home, but the sheer amount of blood the young archaeologist had lost gave him grave cause for concern.
"I have known people to recover from worse." The serious voice made O'Neill sit up and take notice. He looked across to the door of the cell to see Max leaning against the jamb, looking fairly relaxed.
"Hey, Max." O'Neill managed a brief smile.
"He at least fared better than his opponent." Max said.
Daniel, who was not feeling great because of the pain, felt considerably worse as thoughts of his opponent's gory demise at the jaws and claws of the tigers came flooding back.
"I don't feel so good…" Daniel said, leaning over the side of his bed as far as he could. He felt better having disposed of the majority of his lunch. O'Neill, who had been standing at the wrong place at the wrong time, sighed as he saw that he was now wearing it. Daniel lay back on the bed wincing in pain. "That hurt…"
Max leaned against the doorframe, smiling broadly.
"For crying out loud." O'Neill said, rolling his eyes.

******

The next day, Colonel O'Neill, Teal'c and Sam sat miserably in the training yard. While it was hard to tell just what was going through Teal'c's mind, but he did not look as dour as usual. Max was over in the centre of the yard, talking to one of his gladiatorial pals, looking… just the same as usual.
"It's hard to think that life still goes on here and Daniel's lying out the back looking like hell… and - damn!" O'Neill got up. "I know I was going to let him rest, but… I'm gonna check on him all the same."
"I shall accompany you, O'Neill." Teal'c said, rising to his feet.
"Sam, can you do me a favour? Can you ask our pal Max about the survival rate here? I mean… medically… If we don't get out of here soon…"
"I think Max has a plan he's going to put into action. He won't say two words to me about it but I'll find out what I can."

As soon as Teal'c and O'Neill had left, Max came walking towards Sam. Sam smiled, even though she didn't feel like it.
"Hi, Max."
Max gave a small acknowledging nod. "You are concerned for your colleague?"
"How did you guess?"
"Call it… intuition."
"Max… we've tried it before but how are we meant to get out of here? If we don't get back, Daniel could die… We have the facilities to help him back… where we come from."
"The plan I mentioned. It will go ahead tonight. You will be afforded time to escape, but you will not have long. I cannot guarantee your safety… but I will do what I can. The stone hoop you came through has been located. It has been used as decoration just outside the coloseum itself." Max handed her a small piece of wood upon which were drawn clear but simple directions. "This map should help you."
"Thanks." She said, taking it in her hand. "So after today it's back home for us… and you…?"
"I have my own business to attend to. Fulfilling the wish of a dying man."
"Sounds poetic. I'd like to wish you all the best." Sam suddenly realised that this was likely to be her last conversation with Max and the thought was not a pleasant one. Not entirely sure why, she reached out and hugged him, pulling him close. Max was tense to begin with, then hugged her back, warmly and reassuringly. He pulled back, and to Sam's surprise a slight tear was at his eye.
Sam regarded it with surprise. She had never expected to see Max displaying that kind of emotion. She had him down as having more of a Teal'c persuasion abut his character.
"It has been a pleasure making your acquaintance, Samantha Carter." Max said, his voice controlled but belying the slightest bit of emotion.
"The pleasure is all mine, believe me…" Sam said, hugging Max once more. Sam knew that there was every likelihood of one thing leading to another and was not surprised when she and Max ended up kissing each other gently, moving onto a more passionate embrace. The fact that they were not in the most secluded of areas made little difference to their actions. Sam ran her fingers gently through Max's hair. Max was following suit.
And damn, he was such a good kisser.
When they finally regained their composure, they both realised that anything they entered into could not have any future. Sam had to return home and the fate of Rome rested on Max's shoulders. So, they sat, looking into each other's eyes, loosely holding hands.
"If my colleagues hear about this, I'm toast." Sam said.
"I believe we may have attracted some attention…"
Haken was making a few loud and lewd comments, accompanied by anyone who had seen something - or gotten enough of the gist to form an opinion. Sam felt herself blushing and then laughing.
"Maybe it's fortunate I'm going home tonight…" she said.
"Let's make the most of the moment, then." Max said.
Moments later the pair of them were delighting their spectators with another show of affection.

******

Teal'c and O'Neill made their way to the hospital section of the gladiator school where Daniel lay, looking dreadful. The place was quiet in comparison to the yard, and their colleague had not been patched up that badly. He was in obvious pain and had hardly any colour in his face.
"Danny?" O'Neill said.
Daniel opened his eyes and looked up at Colonel O'Neill.
"Jack?" he said, his voice barely a whisper. "Jack, when are we going home…?"
"Soon, I promise."
"The medical care here really isn't that bad… Historically speaking he Romans had some of the best medical innovations of the ancient world…" Daniel said, trying to smile. "But right now, I'd kill for some hospital food."
O'Neill raised his eyebrows. It wasn't a phrase he'd often heard. However, the kind of slop they had been served on a daily basis didn't make O'Neill question Daniel's motivations in that respect.
"Danny… if all goes according to plan, we're going home tonight." O'Neill said, hoping like crazy he would be proved right.

******

O'Neill and Teal'c kept watch over Daniel that night, something that meant they were excluded from the sheer amount of activity that took lace outside their small cell. At around two in the morning, all hell seemed to break loose. Half a Roman legion seemed to troop into the Gladiator school, laying waste to anything in their path. There were war cries, screams and shouts, the sound of horses and battle orders being shouted at the top of someone's voice.
"What's going on…?" Daniel murmured, briefly opening his eyes.
"I would tell you if I could." Teal'c said. "It would appear that some kind of altercation is taking place.
All hell was breaking loose at the gladiator training school. There were shouts, screams, the sounds of metal against metal - and more worryingly, metal against bone. O'Neill and Teal'c met up with Carter and went to check on Daniel. He was trying to get out of bed when they reached him, but failing miserably. Teal'c stood guard at the door of the small cell, whilst O'Neill restrained his colleague.
"Stay there, Danny."
"But… this is just the chance we need… to get back through the gate…"

SG1 made good their escape as the battle raged on. Even though they were not entirely sure of where they were going, they made their best guess and went for it. Teal'c and O'Neill had been helping Daniel along the corridor, then out into the yard. Teal'c had taken one look at the chaos and promptly grabbed Daniel and slung him over his shoulder. They ran down the darkened corridor, along to the normally guarded side entrance of the Gladiator camp and found the door unbolted.
Good on Max, Sam thought. She looked at the map, then guided the team along the route that would take them to their ticket home. Along the way, Daniel passed out. Teal'c picked him up and slung him over his shoulder. Behind them, they could hear guards attempting to batter down the main gate of the gladiator camp. SG1 picked up speed, trying to stay out of sight.
The route was longer than it had appeared at first, but the directions were accurate. They emerged from a small side street into a market place, now all but deserted. The Stargate stood near the coliseum, looking purely decorative with advertisements for upcoming gladiatorial highlights in the coliseum daubed everywhere. O'Neil had seen the Stargate referred to as many things but this was the first time he had seen it used as a hoop shaped advertisement. The DHD stood close, flowers decorating its base and a poster advertising other events fastened to the top. This was way out of hand. It was obvious that next to no-one in this vicinity ha any idea of what the Stargate was all about.
"Sam, you dial out - if you can find the DHD under all that crap - I'll keep look out. Teal'c… get yourself and Daniel home."
The run across the marketplace seemed like miles - as well as leaving them painfully exposed. They could hear activity behind them, but it seemed as though this was a now or never chance to get home.

******

It turned out to be never. Daniel passed out along the way and stopped breathing. Sam had to leap into a session of CPR and wished SG1 had a medical specialist on their team. Teal'c kept a close watch on what was going on around them, as did O'Neill, but in the end there was nothing they could do. Had they made a run for it, Daniel would probably have died. As it was, Sam successfully revived him. That was a comfort compared to the place they ended up in. It was crowded, dank and dark. Along with many other poor unfortunates - gladiators or not - SG1 had found themselves imprisoned. It didn't matter what state Daniel was in. The emperor, mad as hell, had given orders as to who was to be imprisoned and Daniel's name was on that list. The young archaeologist lay out cold, his head resting on Sam's lap as she sat on the floor. Teal'c had his eyes trained on the arena, as did Colonel O'Neill. It was obvious that the emperor wanted them to see something. O'Neill had a bad feeling in his gut about the whole thing… or was that just the fact he hadn't eaten in a while? Whatever it was, the feeling didn't get any better when he saw Commodus raised into the arena on an ingenious kind of lift, shortly followed by Max.
O'Neill gasped when he saw the state Max was in. He was in dire pain and seemed to be bleeding - badly. O'Neill thought the whole thing through. If Max didn't finish the emperor, SG1 could kiss home goodbye - and most certainly kiss their lives goodbye in the process.
Maddeningly, the Emperor had the Stargate in pride of place once more -and this time, the DHD was there with some kind of statue sitting on top of it.
"If we could only get to that gate…" O'Neill said under his breath.
"There are many armed guards. It may be possible should Max defeat the emperor."
"Look at the state of the poor bastard." O'Neill said, letting out a deep sigh. "No one should have to put up with as much shit in their life as that guy has - and is."
"It is my hope that the emperor will be defeated."
O'Neill did not reply and simply nodded.
SG1 were treated to a very close battle. It seemed likely that Max stood no chance against the emperor, which in turn gave them a sense of impending doom. It was kind of bittersweet when they saw Max give the emperor what he deserved, only to meet his own end on the hot sand of the arena floor.
"Ah, crap… I kind of liked that guy." O'Neill murmured.
"He was a fine warrior." Said Teal'c.
SG1 weren't really sure about what happened next, apart from the fact that they were released and had the opportunity of standing in an all but deserted arena, with the Stargate directly in front of them. They tramped across the sand to where their way home stood. Daniel was barely standing, to the point where Teal'c hauled him up and slung him over his shoulder. The archaeologist groaned, but was in no fit state to argue. O'Neill lagged behind, laid eyes on the fallen body of the emperor and glowered. "Son of a bitch!" he hissed under his breath.
"Colonel?" Sam turned and looked at him questioningly.
"Just a minute. There's something I've wanted to do ever since I laid eyes on this asshole." O'Neill took a run up and kicked the emperor's body as hard as he could, following the action up with more batterings.
"Colonel, leave it. He got what he deserved - now let's go home."
Sam walked up to the DHD and started dialling. O'Neill was still standing over the emperor.
"COLONEL O'NEILL!!" Teal'c called.
"Coming…" O'Neill said as he followed his team through the Stargate.

******

It was a shock to the system to see the clean confines of the SGC - and a treat for the eyes. No sand, no straw beds, just familiar surroundings. O'Neill stood at the top of the ramp, hands on hips, looking around and smiling. He heard Carter calling for medical assistance, as well as the commotion that followed but was pretty much oblivious to it all.
Daniel looked up at Dr Frasier as she checked on him seconds after he was loaded onto a gurney.
"Doc… I don't feel so good…"
"What happened?!" Frasier gasped.
"Tigers… They wanted me for lunch…"
Teal'c silently followed them, while Carter waited for O'Neill. When she saw that he was happy, standing on the ramp looking around the SGC, she headed off in Teal'c's direction.
"Gotta love this place." O'Neill said under his breath, stepping off the ramp to the door. As O'Neill headed for the sick bay, he met up with General Hammond.
"Colonel… if it's not a rude question - what the hell are you wearing?"
"It's a… dress." O'Neill said, aware for the first time in a while of what he was wearing. He had kind of gotten used to it. "A cold, draughty, itchy dress. But it's a real hit in ancient Rome." He continued.
Leaving the General lost for words, O'Neill marched off to the medical facilities.

******

It was later that month that SG1 decided to chill out at the movies.
"So what are we seeing?" Sam asked as they settled in their seats.
"Some movie called Gladiator," O'Neill said.
Daniel grunted in bad humour. "Your taste in movies sucks, Jack. I'll never forget those… those…"
"Tigers? Oh, well…Can't have everything. Teal'c, what do you think?"
"I concur with Daniel Jackson."
"Great." Jack sighed. "Well, I have the tickets right here, and I haven't been to the movies in ages. Everyone on the base is raving about this film…"
"OK, OK, you win." Daniel said. Sam shrugged and Teal'c tagged along.
They proceeded to watch the opening scene, then the team took a collective gasp as they recognised their former comrade from another place and time, large as life on screen.
"Holy buckets!" O'Neill breathed.
Sam sighed dreamily. "He was such a good kisser…"
Teal'c raised an eyebrow.
O'Neill looked jealous.
Daniel groaned and slid down in his seat. "Tigers…" was all he said.
At the end of the movie, several people in the audience looked like they needed some Kleenex. Colonel O'Neill was slapping his forehead with his palm. Teal'c looked confused, while Daniel was murmuring something about tigers. Sam had tried to maintain her resolve, but had ended up openly weeping buckets.
"SG1… whose for a little trip to see Dr Frasier?" O'Neill asked. He looked at his team. "Daniel?"
"Tigers…" said Daniel.
"Will you shut up about the damn tigers!" O'Neill said.
"It's a very visually effective movie, isn't it?" said a fellow cinema goer to the team as he left. "It almost makes you feel like you've been there…"
At that point, Daniel fainted, Sam reached for another tissue, O'Neill responded with a terse "ya think?!" and Teal'c had the arduous task of trying to get the team home as he was the only one in a fit state to do so.
He doubted that he would ever understand the principles involved in this ritual of going to the cinema.