"What purpose is to be served by Daniel Jackson being here?" Teal'c asked as SG1 travelled to the warehouse where the second Stargate had been tracked down to.
"Hey! Teal'c!!" Daniel exclaimed.
"Calm down, Danny Boy - he didn't mean it - he…" O'Neill's voice trailed off. "Now you come to mention it… good point."
"JACK!!"
"Calm down, Daniel - the guys are just having a debate. It's noting personal." Sam said.
"You know, Teal'c…" O'Neill mused, "You've got a very good point. Daniel is a civilian archaeologist and we're here to raise merry hell as we go gate hunting… and the guys who are taking joy rides through the gate are going to be a little peeved. There will be a lot of bullets flying left right and centre -"
"Therefore leading you to surmise that Daniel Jackson will, most likely be injured."
"TEAL'C!!" Daniel exclaimed. "Sam, can't you stop them picking on me?"
Sam thought for a moment. "Well… now I think of it, you do spend a lot of time in the infirmary…"
"SAM!!"
"But we all know why he spends all that time in the infirmary, don't we, campers?!" Jack's voice had a wicked tone in it that made Daniel worry about what was coming next. There was a pause, then O'Neill let rip. "… it's because he has it bad for Doctor Frasier!!"
"What is this? A get Daniel day?!" Daniel whined.
"You know something, Daniel, you may just have something there…" Sam said.
"Besides a crush on Doctor Frasier!" Jack cut in quickly.
"JACK!!"
"OK, kids," O'Neill said, his mind on the mission in hand, "Let's just… calm it down here. After all, we're on a serious mission to make sure our off world buddies get their touchstone back. And that means a trip to the warehouse where -"
"Daniel Jackson will most likely be injured." Teal'c said.
"TEAL'C!!" Daniel groaned.
"I am merely stating an observation gained from many missions with SG1."
"Yeah, well cut it out. I have my uses!" Daniel snapped defensively.
"Of course you do, Daniel." O'Neill reassured him, deadpan..
"Thank you." Daniel said.
"You make a great doorstop!" O'Neill quipped, unable to resist the opportunity of seizing the moment.
"Hey!!"
"OK. I'm sorry." Said O'Neill. He paused and found it hard to repress another little gem. "You make great target practice for the Goa'uld, too!!"
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. Sam was laughing out loud and Daniel had the appearance of someone who was in the middle of a very good sulking session. O'Neill was laughing like he would never stop. He was in one of those frames of mind where everything was funny. He could not get the idea of Daniel going on a mission with SG1 wearing a normal uniform and a target on his back. It was no use - that triggered off another laughter session.
"Colonel O'Neill, are you feeling well?" Teal'c asked.
"Fine - it's just… Daniel… and the way he just… can't stay out of trouble…!" O'Neill gasped between peals of laughter.
"Well, at least I'm not going grey!" Daniel snapped.
O'Neill stopped laughing instantly.
"At least I'm not target practice." O'Neill shot back.
"Better target practice than someone who has trouble with long words."
Oh dear, thought Sam, they could go at it like this for hours. "Guys, can you keep your minds on the mission. We have to retrieve the touchstone and to do that we have to go to a certain warehouse where there is a certain Stargate and -"
"The Touchstone. Aah… the Touchstone." Said O'Neill, "That's a device that controls the weather. You see - I know stuff, Danny boy."
"OK, if you know so much you can tell me all about the legends associated with Khepri."
"Khepri? Isn't that a kind of car…?"
"No, in ancient Egyptian mythology it's the rising sun and -"
"Never mind that - how about something useful like the more important points of maintaining live weaponry."
"OK. You guys are smart in your own way - now will you just drop it? You're giving me a headache!!" Sam pleaded. "If you don't, I'm going to have to have to resort to drastic measures."

An hour later, Daniel was wishing he hadn't been sitting so close to Sam. He looked at her with an evil glare.
"Well, that's better." She said.
"I would concur." Said Teal'c. "Your idea is to be commended."
"At least he's under control."
Daniel would have asked why it was himself and not Jack who had ended up firmly attached to a seat with more duct tape than he wished to think about. There was a large strip across his mouth, making it impossible for him to say a word. His expression said it all.
"Don't worry, Daniel." Sam said reassuringly. "There's only a five minute drive left. We'll let you go at the other end."
"Even though you're a civilian scientist and we don't really need you here." O'Neill said.
"However, in the meantime we can ensure that you do not encounter any trouble." Teal'c smiled.
Daniel thought it was fortunate in a way that his mouth was taped up - the language he wanted to come out with was not suitable for anyone's ears.